How to Date Yourself When Hanging out With Classmates 10 Years Younger

1. Talk about watching filmstrips in high school. I mean, really. FILM STRIPS.
2. Declare (in a I-walked-10-miles-to-school-in-the-snow-barefoot kind of way) that the Internet didn’t exist when you were in college.
3. When a friend announces his devotion to the band Pearl Jam, snort and say, “What were you, like 10 when their first album came out?
4. When someone jokingly asks who you woke up next to on New Year’s Day, say, “Duh! My husband.”
5. Talk about how you remember when Reagan got shot.
6. Make fun of 80s-esque white shoes, saying that you already had to go through that fashion mistake once, and that was enough.
7. Wince when your buddies order a) a pitcher and b) Pabst Blue Ribbon. Dream of a more expensive and better tasting beer, but say nothing. Openly display your surprise when your share of the bill comes to $2. Then, try to laugh it off by blaming your cost confusion on the high cost of living in San Francisco. “Must be cheaper in Boston, ha, ha.”
8. Pretend to laugh along when your friends accuse one another of being Dave Matthews Band groupies in high school. Meanwhile, this conversation plays itself in your head: “High school? Didn’t the DMB get popular in the mid-90s? Like after I had graduated from college?”


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