With just one class left to attend and much of the contents of my apartment packed or sold, I feel as though I am biding time until May. I’ve been socializing a lot, attending parties, saying goodbye to various classmates. None of it has been very emotional so far. Frankly, I just want to get going. I definitely feel as though I am waiting to begin my normal life. Plus, with the apartment in such a state of chaos, I am starting to feel as though I am away from home and in a state of limbo. We have little food left in the cabinets, and some of our furniture has been sold. I gave away my kitchen knives so anything we cook can’t involve chopping. Things like that make me ready to get on with all this moving.
I have not been writing, since, as I previously declared, April is No Writing Month. I am finding that I am missing it, which is a good thing. Hopefully that means I will just pour out the words and pages when I get back to San Francisco and I am seriously sitting down to work on my thesis on a regular basis.
Without writing, I’ve found myself coming up with other random creative projects. Perhaps with all of the writing I’ve trained myself to need some time being creative every day, or to express myself everyday. As a result, recently I’ve been drawing, something I haven’t done in forever, and I’ve been dreaming up other art projects. The Internet is a fabulous resource for the visual arts. I knew this already, but it continues to impress me. I’ve been surfing photos on Flickr and browsing collages there and elsewhere. It’s very inspiring to see what people are creating, and it makes me want to spend hours with markers, paper, my camera, and Photoshop.
After a week or so of perfect spring weather, it has gotten cold and rainy, which is perhaps another reason I am ready to get going. I of course had packed up my coat and sweaters and cold weather shoes and I had to go and dig them all out again. It’s been in the 40s and gray, which makes me want to go back to bed not long after I get up. This might also be due to the fact that I am still not sleeping well despite lots of exercise and less coffee. Well, change always leads to sleeplessness for me, so it’s nothing new and I’ve learned not to get frustrated about it anymore. I just try to use the middle-of-the-night wakefulness to be creative or read something interesting — make the best of it.