Ch. 1, version 3,248.

I haven’t been feeling very bloggy for the past few days. This might have something to do with the fact that I have been sitting in front of my computer for hours staring in frustration at chapters 1 and 2 of my book. I need to rewrite them and the way to do it hasn’t quite come to me yet. Usually when I work on a chapter this much, something eventually comes to me…As I fall asleep, I can suddenly see what the chapter should be, and then the next day — wham! I can get to work, things come together, all is right with the world.

Except it’s not coming together. I have four new beginnings that dead end. It occurred to me that my current chapter one is actually probably at least the fifth iteration of that chapter, and I’m starting to wonder if the constant rewriting has actually harmed rather than helped. It’s certainly made me feel detached from the events I wrote about. I no longer feel anything about them; they’ve become blocks of text that can be moved or cut. I can no longer see what’s important and what’s not.

Well, I know it will come together eventually. It has to.

I’m hoping that my flight to Boston tomorrow will provide a shove in the right direction. I can usually write really well on planes. No internet, no real distractions —and the knowledge that my laptop battery will run out in less than four hours. And being strapped in to a cramped seat, there’s no real way to avoid doing the work.

I have to say I’m less enthused about heading to Boston this time; I am not feeling especially proud of the second half of the book that my professor and I will discuss, and I am kind of worried about the work to come. After this meeting there’ll be just one month left. One month to make all of my final changes! But, it will be good to see friends, and perhaps, hopefully, pick up some inspiration, as I did during my last visit.

And now, I must find my winter coat. It’s cold in Boston!


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